the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
