and you said cock pushups were impossible
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize