giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize