im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we're making bets on your personal life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
