Pants 0. Shit 1.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
