dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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