I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
