Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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