How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
