found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
