I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
