turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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