this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
