i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize