Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
