I wannas sexs uuuuu
so that wasnt chicken after all
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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