So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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