i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she smelled like a LAN party
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
