you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
