Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You smell like stripper and shame
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
