Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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