i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize