hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
