I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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