so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
