Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
