I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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