Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
