I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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