well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
