They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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