There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
