I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
