Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
