Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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