He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
