I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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