do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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