He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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