big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
