he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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