they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
