i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
