i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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