I heard we made out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All the doctor said was why
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
