ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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