Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
