He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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