your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We are all done wearing pants today
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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