awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
