So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
