Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
