Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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