i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
