HIV tests are more positive than that guy
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
