why didn't you poke me back
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
