we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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