Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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