There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
