is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
