We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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