i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
