i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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