i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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