would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
