i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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