When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
